R.I.P friend...

Didnt know you for long,
but i never forget any moment i spent with you.

i went to your house,
played with your evil dog,
who barked and tried to bite me when i held him.
and you were like scolding,
ordered him not to do that to her friend,
which was *me*. :]

and i can still remember you,
YOU, as a cheerful cheeky girl,
always so positive and optimistic....
taking photos with me,
and cheering me up by praising i was actually pretty.

all the tiny winy bits of memories,
i ll paste them back one by one,
and consititute a wonderful,
heart-warming puzzle,
of you and me,
together,
always,
ever...

_________________

sometimes,
i think i'd rather die,
juz leave this world,
because i hav a better world there.

but another thought always nudges me,
to live happily on the earth,
and die happily.
stand in the shoes of ppl in heaven,
earth is nothing but a pile of soil.

i saw you lying down there,
wearing your precious uniform.
from your look,
i can guess,
you turned your back on the universe peacefully,
as though this is nothing for you.

______________________________________

someone told me,
Life is juz like making a phone calls,
it is either you hang up the phone 1st,
or i hang up 1st.
even sometimes,
without saying goodbye,
that is what we called
'disconnection'
_________________________________




Sorrows filled the atmosphere
when your coffin was rolled to the place for cremation,
your brother was shouting your name,
crying hysteria,
asked you to come back.

voice of agony,
tears of sour and bitter.

i lowered my head,
i know,
these didnt suit you at all,
as you WERE the sunshine & the God of laughter.
Hence, i didnt cry,
caz i know,
you ARE now peacefully settled in heaven,
with Jesus,
and living in a place where there has no sadness.
no more sheding tears,
but only happiness.

now THIS,
suits you.


i know,
i know.....


me wrote,
9:19 p.m

A sad farewell to my pet hamster.....

A picture of a hamster suddenly popped out in my mind,
i immediately thought a pet of mine
a few years ago.

they were hamsters,
china hamsters.
small and fluffy,
cute and adorable.

but they seemed to have a disgusting habit,
as they defeacated every 5 seconds!!!!

flashbacks......
pieces of memories,
i cant glue them back,
they are tooo tiny.

---------------- I remember
you were trying to adapt the new environment,
the horrible cat was chasing you,
you were staring and buttering me. (hehe)
i almost cut you into half by a scissors,
i tossed you in the air and caught you,
and how you shivered on my palm.
you went into my shirt,
you had your 1st batch of baby hamsters,
and how you grew old,
and died silently in your cage.....

every single sign of you,
the memories,
as deep as my mind could go,
showed the flashback of you....
in that 2 seconds.

we both never said goodbye to each other,
but now,
please listen,
I wanna tell you.....




''we met it seems such a short time ago,
you looked at me,
needing me so.

yet from your sadness, our happiness grew,
and i found out i needed you too.

i remember how we used to play,
i recall those rainy days,
the fire glows and kept us warm,
and now i find we are both alone.....

goodbye may seem forever,
farewell is like the end.

but in my heart's ,
the memory,
and there you'll always be.''




an ex-hamster master wrote,
12:55 a.m


8)

Be yourself

That day i was in my room,
tears suddenly juz popped out from my
" window of soul" thingie...
and dropped on my lips. (EEWW)

what the hell was that???
i was leaking....


i didnt know why,
but somehow,
i felt tired,
so exhausted from pleasing others...
i wanted to be like them,
i wanted to mix with them,
join thier group,
and be part of them.

but something,

something was blocking my way,
and invisible rigid wall,
a wall that existed as alpha and omega,
that could never be destroyed...

it's too firm,
i was too weak.

juz because i admired them,
juz because me too wanna be smart like them,
juz because i didnt appreciate myself,
juz because its not the fate i wanted...

i tred to please them,
tried to be SOOOOO good to them,
tried to let them accept me,
it took me so long.

i've been to patience,
i believed one day,
maybe one day,
they would realise the existence of me.
but what did i get?
i was a total misfit.


then,
i read a message,
and email from my friend,
i think it's God's work,
to console,
and let me know that...

" human always care about those
that dont care about them.
and they ignore those who bother them,
who cares and appreciate about them.

they want more, and so they run towards
the aim that shut out to them.
they abondon the group that once concerned,
and attentive...

at last, they got nothing.

cherish those that show cares,
even though they are not the best.
for this is the fate that befalls on you.

you can blame nobody, but you and only you"


and then an electric shot flowed throughout
my every single cell,
every inch of my skin...


I SHOULD BE MYSELF!!!!

I stopped pleasing others,
stopped torturing myself,
stopped to be so greedy and self-centered.
they dont like people that are fake

juz be yourself

dont try to think your hell out
how to make that person likes you.
then you ll start paranoid,
start to be so not-you,
and then turn to another person,
then, no ego... (how sad)

YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!
BE DIFFRENT!!!!

your REAL character is juz like a magnet,
friends are like irons.


*because the only way to be outstanding ,
is to be yourself
be different,
and EGO!!!

such a simple way.

GOD LOVES EVERYONE,
AND WILL PREPARE HIS/HER WAY,
WITHOUT YOU WORRYING.


( above are all my imagination,
i am juz imagining myself
will one day become like that,
and the ways that what should i do)





an imagine-maker wrote,
12:50 a.m

smiles (:

Someone asked me,
why are you always hanging your smiley face
right on the bottom of your nose?

i said of coarse,
you want me to smile on my tummy?

i love to smile,
isnt that good?
it makes you feel happy and optimistic,
sometimes, you might even influnce others...


''joanne has the sweetest smile, just like her mother! ''
mr zac said, blinking his cheeky eyes a few months ago.
i remember till now, because its true.
*some people have really pretty sweet smile,
that will shoo the worries away...


''chloe, i hate you and your optimistic''
deanna said, joking....
she is so optimistic, which makes her our class monitor.
class monitor shouldnt be strict and fierce and boring,
they should be bright and smart,
to lead and fill the class with wisdom and happiness!!!
*some people may not hav the sweetest smile,
but their smiles contain sun that shines,
so warm that melts the cold, dissapointed heart...

''omg cheryl, you look so funny when you smile!!!''
alysha couldnt say the words properly,
she was laughing like hell...
'' what the hell?''
cheryl continued...
*some people may not have the brightest smiles,
but they are enough to make someone giggle with joy...

''you all so noisy ar!!! i cannot teach you all arh!!!!''
ms tai was throwing the chairs on the floor,
scolding us with her smiley face.
wierd right?
but i still dont know how the hell can she do that!!!
*some people may not hav the funny smiles,
but at least the smiles will make you less guitly
when you get scolded.

''hey i like your drawings connie!''
yasmin agreed with her admire smile...
* smile at people when you sincerely admire his/her works,
they will always remember and make his/her day.
(human like to be praised)

but most importantly,
smile to people with blessings.
such as smile when you meet them in the corridor,
say something like ''good luck in your exam'' or ''hope you ll get well soon''
with a warm smile..
* this may not be the sweetest or the brightest smile
but this tiny little smile filled with blessings and wishes
is the BEST among the BEST!

remember, a simple way to stand out among the others
is to be H-A-P-P-Y

A happy girl wrote,
6:01 p.m